Casey Dream - 10/14/2017

I really became attached to Casey while she was living here in Sacramento. I didn't see her that much but the times I did were always fun and enjoyable. We spent enough time together where I felt that she really gets me. I am not hard to read in general but still she picked up enough to know how I react to things and what makes me tick. Of course she is an awesome wrestler and to be honest, I have accepted the fact that she can beat me at wrestling. But beyond that, she is just a really decent person. She has always made me feel comfortable being more open than I usually am. And just as importantly, she has provided me emotional comfort during some challenging times.

Happy as a clam

Now that she has left the area, I feel this sense of anxiety that I didn't expect I would feel. I prepared myself for her departure as best as I could. I went to her farewell party and had lunch with her, soaking up the precious moments we shared together and then shortly thereafter she was gone. I knew that she was not going to be that far away once she settled down. After all, L.A. is a semi-frequent destination of mine and I know that at anytime I can text her or even video chat,  but still, physical presence is so much better.

But I digress here. The purpose of this blog post is to relate a dream I had about Casey last night. I usually don't remember much about my dreams when I wake up in the morning, but somehow this dream stood out in my mind. I remember driving my car and arriving at someone's house, no one I recognized but that didn't seem to bother me as opened the door and entered on my own accord. It was a mixture of people I knew as well as many I didn't. I remember seeing Stephan and Jay and some other people from the Mastermind group. There was a lot of pot smoking, drinking and game playing going on  just your average party. I sat down at this large dining table and spotted Casey out of the corner of my eye sitting across from me. She was smiling and enjoying herself. It was crowded in the room but there was some space next to her. I felt so excited at seeing her that I forgot everything else that was going on - loud beer drinking, laughing, joke telling, etc. I made my way over to her and sat down next to her. I had all these things I was excited to tell her about and just as I started talking, she jumped up without any warning and sat down, no lay down across from me on some kind of sofa. I wondered wtf is going on? I called out to her but she was in her own world staring up at the ceiling, looking around and humming some tune. It was as if I suddenly became invisible. I got up and looked around, feeling out of place and awkward being in that room. I quickly exited through the front door and ran down the stairs to the street. At this point, the dream faded and I then woke up.

What does this all mean? I don't really know. I think I just miss her a lot.

Rent a Whip

This is the continuation of my previous post about Marshawnda Blackwell, that lazy sloth of a person who had no intention of paying me for the Ford Fusion I bought to help her out.

Marshawnda

Marshawnda was so lazy and lacked any drive or interest in working and improving her financial situation that I actually stepped in to try and help her find a job. I scoured the ads on Craigslist and other job sites and by accident came upon an ad that was soliciting car owners to lease their cars. I had vaguely heard about renting one's car out for a fee to the public but didn't know how the whole process worked.

Frankly, I was feeling very stuck with my arrangement with Marshawnda. I really didn't know how I was going to get the car back from her since I couldn't imagine her giving it up voluntarily. I wanted to try something different but I wasn't sure I was ready to just hand over my car to some other company or person. I called the number in the ad and spoke to Mae Schmidt, the owner of  a company called Rent a Whip. The name sounds a little kinky but that didn't bother me in the least. The whole concept actually sounded pretty good. Rent a Whip would maintain the car, keep it insured and lease it from me for a weekly fee.

I was a little wary about handing over the Ford Fusion to this company after my 5 1/2 month ordeal with Marshawnda so I needed to find some way to test them out. That weekend I stopped by the warehouse and saw the minivan just sitting there taking up space that I need for wrestling shoots.

Mae Schmidt

I suddenly came up with a splendid idea. I could take the minivan home, free up some space in the warehouse and then lease the van to this company. Could it be done? Oh yes. I called Mae that Saturday and she said they already had someone who wanted to rent the minivan. What? "Are you kidding?" I asked. Mae assured me that the demand was very strong. In fact, it was so strong she told me that they are desperate for more vehicles to add to their fleet. I wondered how they could be doing such good business and that is when she revealed how the company came into existence and the niche market they seem to have found. It turns out that Mae herself had bad credit and as anyone trying to rent a car from a traditional rent a car company can tell you, it isn't easy to rent a car when you have damaged credit. Car rental companies typically require a functioning credit card with a down payment to be reversed or adjusted at the end of the car rental. For many people with challenged credit, that requirement is a nearly impossible hurdle to overcome. From Mae's personal experience, she thought that there must be others who had the money but not the credit to rent a car and so Rent a Whip was born. Originally operating out of San Diego, Mae and her husband Andrew moved up to Sacramento in January of 2017 to be closer to their relatives and move the company operations here as well.

Andrew Schmidt

Without hesitation, I took the van over to their office in Carmichael. Andrew was there to meet me. He drew up a contract and printed it out but the quality of the print was terrible. I signed and had him email me the text of the contract. On the spot he gave me payment for a one day rental with a weekly rental of $160 guaranteed over the term of the contract which we set at 2 months.

I was a little uncomfortable coming into their office every week to pick up cash so I asked Mae if they could pay me via Google Wallet or Paypal and she said no problem. I also told Mae about the Ford Fusion and my situation with Marshawnda. She assured me that Rent a Whip would arrange to recover the car for me at their expense. This was literally music to my ears since I had no clue how to confiscate the car from Marshawnda. Mae also offered to pay me $250/week rental fee which would cover all of Marshawnda's debt and pay off the auto loan in a little over a year. How could I refuse?

The next day I gave Mae my copy of the car keys to the Ford along with key information about Marshawnda, including her address in Cool, CA and pictures of her. That weekend I was down in Fresno with Pumpkin for the California state taekwondo championship so I couldn't be present when the car was confiscated. I coordinated with Mae and the repo guy she hired by setting a trap for Marwhawnda. I led her to believe I was still in Sacramento when I told her that it was time for her to give the car back to me. I knew in my mind that it was not going to be so easy and as I predicted, Marshawnda missed the agreed upon location of Starbucks on the corner of Fulton and Marconi. All of this drama was being played out in text messages between Mae and me while I was in Fresno. Finally, late Friday night I received a text from Mae that they had recovered the car. What a relief!

I was so grateful that my car had been recovered, I let out a humongous sigh of relief and quietly celebrated by eating a giant bowl of spicy Vietnamese Pho at a hole in the wall restaurant outside of downtown Fresno. I had visions of receiving a weekly payment of $410 every Saturday for the foreseeable future. How desirable such an arrangement would be!

[Inner Voice]
"Bad David! Naive David! How could you think life would go so smoothly? Don't you know about the law of life's train crashes? It doesn't make any difference how much good karma you spread in this world, you need to go through 10 train wrecks to arrive at a one pleasant stop along the way." [Casey Crupper Words of Wisdom Chapter 2]

Ok, so I ignored my inner voice. But after 5 1/2 months of a grueling slog through the swamps of Marshawnda Blackwell, I really needed to feel optimistic that the money was just going to roll in on a German train schedule, every Saturday at 6 PM. But nope, that wasn't going to be the case as I would soon find out.

I made an appointment for the Sunday after I returned from Fresno to inspect the car and sign the paperwork for the lease agreement. When I arrived, the first order of business was to inspect the car. Thankfully, the car looked just fine, except for a cigarette burn in the back seat upholstery. I also noticed a new tire installed on the right front passenger side. Apparently, Marwhawnda decided to leave a parting gift by slashing one of the tires just before the heavily tattooed repo man grabbed the keys and took the car away from her.

Being the detailed oriented, anal person that I am, the thought of having to sign a contract printed so that only 1/3 of the words are actually readable was patently unacceptable to me. The day before, I spent hours redoing the leasing contracts for both the minivan and the Ford Fusion, putting the whole thing in Google Docs. I even brought my laptop just to show them how its done. Mae fumbled a little bit but seemed to get the hang of it after I guided her on how to upload a document into DocHub for electronic signature. So all is good so far. I got my 2nd payment on the minivan plus a one day rental fee for the Fusion in cash.

The next Saturday I was expecting the payment for both cars through Paypal but there was some problem with Mae's credit card and the bank had put some kind of hold on her account. Ok, that was somewhat believable though not anything I ever experienced. In hindsight, this trivial glitch represented the calm before the storm that was about to arrive that evening.

Sometime Saturday evening, I received a text from Mae telling me that her son Justin had slipped in the bathroom and hit his head on the toilet, creating a large gash on the side of his head. She even showed me a picture of the side of Justin's head.

She told me that she had to immediately rushed him to Sutter Roseville to evaluate him for a concussion. By the next day, she informed me that the hospital had him moved to Oakland Children's Hospital. I knew at this point that his condition must be serious because Mae told me that he was having having seizures.

Throughout the early part of the week, I kept in contact with Mae, hoping for some good news, that it was just a concussion. I had already looked up brain injuries to the head and it didn't look good. There is an artery that runs along the side of the head that is vulnerable to head trauma. There is a medical term called epidural hematoma which refers to hemorrhage of the brain. The good news was that when this medical condition is detected early and treated immediately, the recovery rate is 96%.

I didn't receive much news from Mae both Tuesday, April 10th and Wednesday the 11th and I didn't want to bother her knowing she must be focused on her son. But by Thursday, I decided to contact her again in the morning via text and she unexpectedly called me back telling me in a frantic voice that the doctors just whisked Justin away into the operating room without telling her much. I could tell that she was very upset from the uncertainty. I tried to calm her down and told her to please get back to me when she could.

That afternoon, I took Sammy for a walk along the American River Parkway. I knew in my mind that things were looking pretty bad and I began to contemplate the worst case scenario. "What if the boy dies?" I thought to myself. I knew that Mae was the driving force behind Rent a Whip and I wasn't sure how she would react if Justin died but I knew that if that was the case, it would represent a major setback for the operation of Rent a Whip and by association a big blow to this carefully arranged plan of mine to get a nice weekly income. I couldn't imagine Andrew taking over the business because Mae told me herself that he was just a courier for the company, someone Mae used to run errands but not run a business. And he certainly wasn't very tech savvy as he struggled to use Paypal to send me a payment.

I tried to remain positive the rest of the afternoon until I received a text at about 4 PM from Mae's phone number but it wasn't Mae. It was her mom, Claire sending out a text blast to Mae's contacts informing everyone that Justin passed away at 1:27 PM.

"I hope this mass message reaches everyone in my daughters contacts ok because I am not sure who is who. But thank you all for your thoughts and prayers but I'm sad to announce that Justin passed away at 1:27 this afternoon. We are beyond words at this point and my daughter and her husband Andrew ask for prayer at this most difficult time. Please message or call me for anything, when service time and date becomes available all will be welcome to attend, Claire."

"Oh no!" I thought to myself as I read the text over and over again. This was the worst case scenario. I tried to imagine how Mae was doing and what was going on. The next day, I received a text from Mae:

"David it's Mae, my son passed away yesterday and I am a complete mess right now! Thank you for your condolences, we would love to have you at the services if it wouldn't be asking too much. I'm still in Oakland I have to wait until tomorrow for the social worker to have me sign paperwork for releasing my son's body...oh god I can't believe he is just a body now :'( to the Sacramento coroner. I have funeral costs that I have been told are astronomical now and was not expecting this at all. He had a blood clot that broke within his brain and he hemorrhaged and the doctors could not stop it in time and it took him. I'm so lost right now and haven't even informed my other children."

On Saturday the 15th of April, I received a text from Andrew as the weight of the tragedy began to sink in:

"Hey David it's Andrew I was just about to message you, Mae has been a wreck, and the kids inconsolable. We have to meet up with a funeral director on Wednesday and I think Mae is going to lose it. The social worker was great but I felt like I was in the twilight zone and just zoned out and Mae just about passed out from the pain of it all. We are a mess and I spoke in private to the worker this is going to be almost 10 grand if we bury him and 3 to 4 for cremation. I haven't even brought it up to her but I guess her mom is going to try to handle that part. I'm just barely hanging on myself. Happy Easter though to your family I hope you're in a better state than we are."

Any mother who just lost her son would be devastated and I could only imagine the grief and pain this woman was feeling. As the new week progressed, I kept in contact with Andrew as he relayed Mae's deteriorating depression. She began to talk about wanting to be with her son. I told Andrew that kind of talk must be taken very seriously and that she may need outside intervention. I also gave him the number to the National Suicide Hotline.

On Saturday, I reached out to Andrew again and the news wasn't good. Mae had been admitted into the Napa State Mental hospital and was self-inducing vomiting in an apparent desire to starve herself to death. They medical personnel had to put her in a suicide suit so she wouldn't hurt herself and she was just not very responsive. At this point, I had that sinking feeling that she may never fully recover from this tragedy.

Though I knew things were about as grim as they could be, I had resolved to do whatever I can to help them keep the business going. I made it clear to Andrew that I am willing to help out any way I can to make sure the business doesn't go under but I know that I may not be able to do much with Mae in the condition that she is in.

Such is life. I really wanted to turn the bitter lemon of my ordeal with Marshwanda into a refreshing glass of lemonade but it looks like that is not going to happen anytime soon. I think I have a few more train wrecks ahead of me.😟

The Story of Marshawnda

I never regret being generous to people. I only regret not reacting quickly enough when they take advantage of me. And (sigh), such is the case with Marshawnda. I kept hoping in the back of my mind that she would somehow turn her life around. There is a letter that I wrote to her that I posted on this blog but it does not tell the whole story. This whole ordeal started back in September of 2016.

Marshawnda Blackwell

I had posted a casting call for female wrestlers in a number of different places, including Craigslist, ExploreTalent and Casting360. Marshawnda contacted me through Casting360. I actually interviewed her at The Olive Garden across from the Arden Mall. She presented herself as an aspiring model but someone who was most definitely struggling financially. She was studying to be a social worker and taking online courses in pursuit of a two year degree. I found out that she was also living out of her car  and recently arrived here in Sacramento from Minnesota via her boyfriend who just dumped her here and then disappeared.

I have not spent much time with people who live on the edge like this and honestly felt sorry for her plight. I thought I could help her get on her feet and seeing how diligent she was about studying, I felt that helping her out with a car would enable her to find a job. I justified doing something like this by imagining the worst case scenario. If she couldn't pay me back, I would just take the car back from her and keep it for myself.

In the middle of October, we checked out cars together at Harrold Ford on Howe Ave near Arden. There was a particular car she liked - a 2011 Ford Fusion SEL. Suddenly in a split second I decided to buy the car and rent it to her with the understanding that she would pay me back once she found a job.

So much for plans. As it became painfully clear, Marshawnda was either striking out and not finding any meaningful employment or she was just plain lazy. I began to suspect the latter. She kept insisting that it must be because people don't like to hire black people but that argument only goes so far. There are plenty of people of color who are working and I see them everyday with my own eyes.

By this time, I knew that Marshawnda was a habitual liar. The problem then became how to get the car back from her. However I knew that if I took the car there was no chance at all of getting anything from her. My thinking was that at least if she had the car, I had some leverage over her. In February, she finally paid me for one month by borrowing from her friend, but not until I had threatened to confiscate the car from her.

By this time, I was getting tired of her ambivalence and laziness. I decided that I would make one last attempt to help her find a job so she could pay me back. I started searching Craigslist for any part time jobs and that is when I found Rent a Whip.

This story continues in the next blog posting titled "Rent a Whip"

Casey Dream - 7/9/2016

Today I did a really fun video shoot in midtown with Casey and Monisha. After the video shoot ended, Casey told me that she was leaving for Philadelphia on August 7th and won't return for a few months. I felt a little upset because she means a lot to me and on my drive back home I thought about how much I am going to miss her.

Anyhow, after I got home, I needed to take a nap. Ever take a nap in the afternoon? It is nothing like sleeping at night. Oh yea I forgot to mention that I had wolfed down a spicy chicken burrito at Jim Boy's Tacos near the camera place where I rented the stabilizer equipment that Nicholas never used before I headed home. So here is the setting: spicy chicken burrito churning in my stomach, the thought of not seeing Casey for a while, and feeling really tired after getting squeezed like a giant glob of dough being kneaded for 2 hours by two women.

The Dream

I am walking in midtown Sacramento on a quiet, tree-lined street. I catch sight of Casey crossing the street ahead of me. I call out to her: "Hey Casey!" She turns and we walk towards each other. I don't know what we talk about but I say, "I'm going to miss you." We hug and then I kiss her on the cheek. She pulls away from me and her face changes to an anguished expression. Surprised, I ask her, "Is something wrong?" She hesitates and then begins telling me about how complicated things are. "What do you mean complicated?" I ask. She looks at me and shakes her head. "I should have told you about how delicate my relationship is with Monroe." At this point, I am trying to figure out when she ever told me about a guy named Monroe. While I was racking my brain trying to remember, she continues: "And he might just be a little jealous if he found out you were smooching me."  I was aghast. Was she really upset because I just pecked her on the cheek? Before I had time to respond, she had somehow just disappeared. 

I couldn't believe what had just happened to me. I frantically searched for my phone and pulled it out. I wanted to text Casey and tell her that I was just giving her a hug and a little kiss to let her know I will miss her. I pulled up my text app and started scrolling through all the names, looking for Casey but all that came up were cute little Hello Kitty and My Little Pony icons. "WTF?", I thought. The search for her phone number was getting frustrating. 

During the search for her phone number, I wasn't watching where I was going and suddenly heard a loud noise. I looked up and saw a car overturned on the street. 2 or 3 teenagers were looting the car and playing with matches while a gruff looking man was yelling at them to get away from the car. At first I couldn't figure out why the man was yelling so loudly and then looked more closely at the car and discovered that lying next to it was a giant propane tank. "Uh, oh. This is not going to end well.", I said to the man. The teenagers completely ignored the man's warnings and continued to laugh and play, throwing lighted matches at each other. One of the matches landed on one of the teenager's head and his hair caught on fire. All 3 teenagers suddenly freaked and ran away with the flames on the teenager's head growing fast. I shake my head and walk away and the dream ends without the propane tank exploding.

My Seventh wrestling session

Today was my 3rd wrestling session with CC. I gave her a phone today so we can text each other. She is learning really quickly. Today, we went over takedowns and transitions to various submissions. She took me down and pinned me in a schoolgirl hold, followed by a triangle choke from the mount. She also did a schoolgirl pin with transition to front headscissors. Her legs clamped around my neck and I couldn't breathe. She also did the crucifix with transition to side headscissors. Once again, her legs wrapped around my neck and the pressure was scary as she squeezed incredibly hard. It was a mixture of pleasure and pain. Her legs were smooth against my neck but as she began to apply pressure, I felt myself going faint and just managed to tap out.

My Sixth Wrestling Session

Yesterday was my 2nd time with CC. She is so fun to be with. We were having so much fun wrestling together. She learns quickly and she is so nice to me. Today she wore dark sweats that hugged her legs and I could tell she bike rides a lot by the size and tone of her muscles. We didn't waste any time and got right down to business. I taught her a couple of takedowns which she picked up really quick and we went over all the holds I showed her the previous time. When she placed me in guard, I could feel the ripple of her muscles against my torso and that gave me a little bit of a scare. She seemed more in control and moved on me more aggressively to pin me and squeeze me. She got me in a few triangle holds and squeezed me so tightly, I could barely catch my breath but somehow I managed to laugh with her as she watched my face turn different shades of red and purple.

The time went by fast and I was scheduled to meet with JF for another session. She texted me that she needed to stay at home to supervise a construction crew and would I be willing to go to her place @ 1 PM. I was a little hesitant because I really prefer to do all the wrestling sessions at home but I reluctantly agreed. When I googled her address, I had to do a double take because it looked like a commercial address in an industrial area.

I arrived a little before 1 and pulled up to an old brick building in an industrial part of downtown not far from Loaves and Fishes. BTW, the address is 1515 N C Street, Sacramento, CA 95811. I was beginning to feel uncomfortable with all the homeless people camped outside a loading dock next door. At around 12:58, I walked up to a gated entrance with a padlock and texted JF that I was outside. I just kind of stood there waiting and looking inside through the glass door behind the gate to see if anyone was in there. About a minute later a guy appeared from off to the side and asked me who I was looking for. I told him that I was waiting for Jennifer and he said the she had gone out to buy some food and was on her way back.

I didn't really feel comfortable standing out there with shady looking transients sitting not more than 20 feet away so I got back in my car and turned on the cumbia to wait for her. A few minutes later she pulled up in her red sports car wearing a fedora. We greeted each other and I asked her what kind of place this was. She replied that she lived here. I was a little taken aback and I am sure she noticed my reaction but in any case, she showed me inside to a rundown interior that sort of resembled a really old office building with multiple rooms, a stairway to a 2nd floor and a couple of bathrooms off to the side. She then told me that she was part owner/investor in the building because she brokered the sale of the building to a friend of hers and then agreed to plow her commission back into the rehab of the building into an airbnb. I asked her if she was a real estate agent and she said she is studying to become one. Hmm, that's kind of strange since it would have been impossible to broker any real estate deal without a valid DRE license but no matter. I decided to play along. She continued to embellish her financial status by talking about how she was investing over 50 thousand dollars of her own money into it. She then led me upstairs to where I was supposed to set up and when she opened the door, out came Penny, her dog wagging her tail. "Uh oh", I thought since I then realized that I had forgotten the dog food I had bought last week. I was holding onto the two wrestling mats and struggled to drag them upstairs with me. Her studio was actually cozy but spacious at the same time. On one end was a giant bed. The place really wasn't large enough for wrestling but we hadn't gotten to talking about that point. I admitted to her that I had forgotten the dog food and then was stunned when she asked in a demanding way for money to help her pay for a bag of dog food that she had already purchased. I fished in my wallet and gave her a few dollars. I waited but there was no thank you. Nothing. At that point I suggested that we just reschedule to next week. Then, out of her mouth came another request. Could I advance her the session fee? I would never do such a thing for anyone and immediately apologized in my rejection of that idea. She didn't seem bothered and we then went downstairs again. She showed me the remodeling that was going on and I told her I was a general contractor. "What a coincidence!", she announced. She then introduced me to a worker painting texture on a wall. I thought she was going to introduce me as a general contractor to him but instead she introduced me as the guy showing her wrestling holds. I felt so humiliated since I do not want other people knowing about these sessions and by that point, I really wanted out of there. Before I left, she asked if I could turn a bath into a shower. I looked at the bathrooms and said no problem. Then something weird occurred. She asked me to stand against the wall to have my picture taken for her boss. This was getting stranger by the moment and I was anxious to get the hell out of there. I finally managed to escape and get back in my car.

The wonderful time I had with CC disintegrated into a feeling of anxiety, sadness and anger yesterday afternoon after meeting with JF. I couldn't believe at how ungrateful she turned out to be. It was almost like she thought of me as an ATM machine that spits out cash. I felt used and abused all at the same time.

Update: 11/11/2015
Today I was on the stationary bike pedaling furiously while watching some French film on Netflix called Mea Culpa. It was a really good workout because I was completely drenched in sweat. I got off the bike and was getting ready to hop on the treadmill when the phone rang. It was her! WTF? Why was she calling me? Yesterday she called me at work and apologized for dialing because she meant to call someone else. Why now? I was completely caught off guard when she told me that she was so sorry for how she acted the other day and explained that she was in a bad mood that had nothing to do with me and could I forgive her? Of course I accepted her apology. In that short conversation, she completely redeemed herself because I was ready to wipe her completely away from my life. I told her that I was a little busy right now but would like to start back up after Thanksgiving. She said anytime is fine with her and that was that. So now everything is okay.

My Fifth Wrestling Session

Today was the second session with Faerydae, the woman with incredible strength. Thanks to 12 years of wrestling experience, Faerydae picked up all the techniques I showed her and applied them with devastating force.

I decided that it was time to string some holds together and showed her how to transition from a cross body pin to a crucifix and then figure four headscissors. She did it easily the first time. We then went over a couple of takedowns and then I had her show me traditional wrestling takedowns that she had learned previously. Within 1 minute, she had combined the takedown and then pinned me. I couldn't believe how fast she was. Her takedowns were unstoppable.

At that point, I realized that this woman was way more skilled than I had originally thought. I then decided that it was time to wrestle her and see if she could bring me down with resistance. We started out standing in a clinch and I tried to contain her but it was impossible. She immediately pulled me to the ground in a quick takedown. I tried to squirm my way away from her but she held on like a vice and moved up on me quickly from behind. In a last ditch effort, I held my arms together but she pulled me over with ease and then moved to the cross body pin. I began to panic as I felt her body flex on mine as she pulled my arms apart. I couldn't move at all at this point no matter how I struggled. She then quickly transitioned to the crucifix. Again I struggled but she had both my arms trapped. Finally, she nimbly wrapped her leg around my neck and clamped down in a figure four choke, leaving me gasping for air. I quickly tapped out.

Needless to say, Faerydae is by far the most talented of all the women I have wrestled with. She is both beautiful and incredibly strong. Her legs are not to be messed with and I already issued her a challenge to beat me at arm wrestling which I have no doubt she will be able to do in a short period of time.