Casey Dream - 10/14/2017

I really became attached to Casey while she was living here in Sacramento. I didn't see her that much but the times I did were always fun and enjoyable. We spent enough time together where I felt that she really gets me. I am not hard to read in general but still she picked up enough to know how I react to things and what makes me tick. Of course she is an awesome wrestler and to be honest, I have accepted the fact that she can beat me at wrestling. But beyond that, she is just a really decent person. She has always made me feel comfortable being more open than I usually am. And just as importantly, she has provided me emotional comfort during some challenging times.

Happy as a clam

Now that she has left the area, I feel this sense of anxiety that I didn't expect I would feel. I prepared myself for her departure as best as I could. I went to her farewell party and had lunch with her, soaking up the precious moments we shared together and then shortly thereafter she was gone. I knew that she was not going to be that far away once she settled down. After all, L.A. is a semi-frequent destination of mine and I know that at anytime I can text her or even video chat,  but still, physical presence is so much better.

But I digress here. The purpose of this blog post is to relate a dream I had about Casey last night. I usually don't remember much about my dreams when I wake up in the morning, but somehow this dream stood out in my mind. I remember driving my car and arriving at someone's house, no one I recognized but that didn't seem to bother me as opened the door and entered on my own accord. It was a mixture of people I knew as well as many I didn't. I remember seeing Stephan and Jay and some other people from the Mastermind group. There was a lot of pot smoking, drinking and game playing going on  just your average party. I sat down at this large dining table and spotted Casey out of the corner of my eye sitting across from me. She was smiling and enjoying herself. It was crowded in the room but there was some space next to her. I felt so excited at seeing her that I forgot everything else that was going on - loud beer drinking, laughing, joke telling, etc. I made my way over to her and sat down next to her. I had all these things I was excited to tell her about and just as I started talking, she jumped up without any warning and sat down, no lay down across from me on some kind of sofa. I wondered wtf is going on? I called out to her but she was in her own world staring up at the ceiling, looking around and humming some tune. It was as if I suddenly became invisible. I got up and looked around, feeling out of place and awkward being in that room. I quickly exited through the front door and ran down the stairs to the street. At this point, the dream faded and I then woke up.

What does this all mean? I don't really know. I think I just miss her a lot.