President Obama, don’t you understand? We Americans don’t want clean energy. We want dirty energy! We demand our right to breathe unburned hydrocarbons on a cool winter day. We proudly proclaim our support for the freedom to inhale diesel particulate matter deep into our lungs.
Yes, we stand here and salute the red, the white, the blue and the brown haze that hangs over our cities like a warm, soothing bowl of pea soup. Our children deserve all the best we have to give them, like asthma, cardiac disease and lung cancer. Oil is our lifeblood even if it eventually becomes our deathblood. Let us show the world that we are proud Americans, proud to go in reverse and experience the joys of living in an oil based economy for generations and generations thereafter. Let freedom ring and oil gush. Amen!
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